Memory is a very important thing. Since the sins of men and the pollution and destruction we cause to nature are great, our memory have turned weak. Thus the current human beings have no good memory as it was in the beginning or compared to the past human.
I do not have good memory either but I could still remember some of the moments of my past as far as my childhood years. Though I have the memory of two other girls whom I remember as affectionate, I was too young to really know affection that come to exist between opposite orientation of adults. But I began to really know it when I began to have a story with this girl my post is about.
I do not use the word love because it is not love that combines or attract two souls of opposite orientation, in other words it is not love that create romantic relationship but romantic affection. For, love is not romance or romantic affection. Otherwise I would have called her my first love. But only when love exist, any relationship will go on and on forever, and if it does not exist romantic affection die out soon and the romantic relationship tends to break up as romantic affection tends to have expiry date.
As we human beings have inborn desires, of which sex desire is the strongest and main driving force, and when that is mixed with satisfaction of one or the other or both, eg satisfaction of the eye to beauty of opposite orientation, it produces romantic affection. And we mistakenly consider romantic affection as love. But if we had no inborn desires, there will be no such thing as romantic affection as well as marriage. Thus it is clear that love is not romantic affection.
Since we all are born with inborn desires we all seek for a partner. Therefore, it is not inappropriate even if the younger or older, lower or higher, or whichever one of the opposite orientation start the initial. I rather admire it as it takes a courageous leap to start the initial.
She, my first romantic affection, the star of my post and me were in the same school, class and section in the year 1995 or .96, of which I am not sure. She usually was at the first position in half yearly and final exams but I did not use to get good grade.
She was fair and beautiful but I did not realize that until I got a letter from her. I don't remember what exactly were written in it but its obviously words of romantic affection which we mistakenly know as love in the past. And I don't remember exactly what words were I wrote in reply to her but it was truly the same kind as her letter. Thus we continue to follow the same practice out of romantic affection.
One of her letter was sealed with burned lemon or some similar fruit skin to released and wrapped the letter with its aroma, and I was wondering how she did it. I smiled as I write this because those were the times I got the sweetest words from my princess though I don't remember the words anymore and I still can't do the lemon thing.
I also sent her sweet words which was filled with fragrance powder inside, and I hope it made her feel loved and happy.
Later, when my kinsfolk and parents know about the latter with fragrance powder, they started to tease me with one of a well known song of a time which would be translated as 'her lover send her powder.' I used to be so annoyed and shy at that as it was my first experience of romantic affection, but I could do nothing as they would not stop teasing me. When I think back about the time it give me an amusing feeling as it was not a harmful tease. After all, she was my girlfriend and I was her boyfriend, and what harm could it bring even if others teased us for that just for fun unless they were attempting to separate us. Maybe we were too young but I don't remember her age anymore if she had ever told me.
She had a friend of the same class who liked me and expressed her feelings to me too but on those times my affection toward my first girlfriend was so particular. Her friend was fair and beautiful too. According to my knowledge both of them did not break their friendship despite the fact, instead maybe they were okay with it. Though I did not give much attention to her, the story of the three of us went wide.
My parents know about it too when my elder sister told them what my girlfriend's friend (her name) told it to her. Probably she had told my sister that she wanted me and was ready to be as one of my wives. That have pierced my ears but I liked my girl friend too much that I could not like her too.
My girlfriend and me keep on sending sweet romantic letters to one another as the news keep on spreading wide without any problem that came toward us. But one day, one of our letter reached the hands of our teacher who teach one of the local language and read it out before all the classmates. Maybe she did that because we were too young but it was annoying. It seemed that the whole school know about that.
Even the Principal of the school partly scolded and partly instructed my girlfriend in the assembly before the whole students of the school, more than thousands students because she got poor result in the exam. Maybe he did that out of love but I don't think it should be the way. How shameful would it be for my girlfriend who I liked so much. Though we like one another so much, we had never meet each other outside the school, I don't have the idea at that time either. And I was in the hostel of the school in .95. But it seemed that our relationship lasted till the end of the year.
The following years we were kept in different sections, and since I was still too young and did not know how to keep on our relationship, we hardly contact to one another anymore. Maybe she was also growing weak or had another mind that she too did not send me letters or maybe she was just like me too. I don't remember where her friend was at that time, it also seemed that I was not concerned much about her. But I'd not disagree if life meet us again.
When it was about the middle of the year 1997, a civil war between two brothers clans broke out and all the house of institutes had to be closed. My parents small business fell down and we had to moved out of the town, then back to our own home town as my parents business ended.
After that I had never meet my first girlfriend again though I really wanted to. I still did not grow up from being a smartless ass too, it seemed that it was not a talent given to me.
A year or two later, when my mom take me back to the town where I meet my first romantic affection, I meet a young old friend who was studying in my old school and told me that my girlfriend was still studying there. She was much junior to us but I wonder how she know the romantic relationship my first girlfriend and me had.
This friend of mine was very kind to me, maybe she had romantic affection for me too according to the rumors I heard later but she never told me. She even delivered my letter to my girlfriend who I could not forget. But I felt bad for my friend if she had a romantic affection toward me as it could be hard for her to deliver my romantic letter to someone else.
In the letter I told my romantic affection to meet me near a big banyan in the adjoining village but I never meet her because I did not wait for her as I believe she would not come. But I apologize to her for disbelieving her through this blog.
I still looked for her in 2003 when life take me back again to that town and even after that. Secretly I searched for her but did not find her because I had never taken information about her family, maybe I've forgotten most of it, and I was not that committed anyway. However, I found one thing in the newspaper, and that was a name exactly as her name with father's name, and it was a positive result for joining regional medical institute. I asked my neighbor who had a house near a location where I thought my first girlfriend resides but she told me she had never heard of her and knew her father.
Then, after I joined facebook I looked for her in it but did not find her. Maybe she has gotten married or she had been working somewhere without marriage, that's the worst I could think for her as I don't want to think any other worst things for her.
Her appearance in my memory is growing hazy but my desire to see her for at least one more time could not die. Sometimes, out of desire I still try to see her with my eyes, through my mind but it is like a faint dream and obscure painting. Though I wanted to meet her again in real life, some part of me seems to hold me back as she could have been a successful woman but I remained the same old boy, even lower than that for I could not continue schooling, education according to the world. I even weep at that part and it takes me couples of minutes to finish it.
But God my Father, your Father, our Father teaches me other lessons through life and His Spirit which I do not boast of but Him, my Father. And that is not boasting but glorifying. He had taught me what is love, true love, and why we fall for someone. Some of it is written here.
If I had loved her I would have bee faithful for her till date, for love is faithful, and I would have found her, for love never gives up. After all, love have strong faith, and nothing can move it. I was just having a romantic affection toward her that made me miss her, and if my Father had not taught me I would have been fooled and still think romantic affection as love.
Though sometimes love had accompany my romantic affection toward her I could not say I truly love her because love never die, but my love dies and I did not love her to the end with faithfulness. Anyway, such kind of short termed and incomplete love is never called love.
Such is love and such is romantic affection, they were, they are and they will continue to be so.
Thoughts for the Day:
#Love is a good attitudes and actions toward others.
Love never divorce,
Love never give up.
*# Since love is neither romantic affection nor marriage,
There will be no more marriage in the new World,
Every human being who is worthy to enter the new World, The Kingdom of The Holy God will be like His Holy Angels.
That is the basic reason.
#*# Love is eternal, Love is boundless,
Therefore it is a necessary education to receive eternal degree.
No other education can bestow eternity except love.
*#*# Since the education which is most popular does not change the world,
Since it does not establish peace nor erase hatred,
It is certain that nothing but love is the most important education for all man kind.
#*#*# Love does not follow any religion,
For Love itself is religion.
God the Father is Love, and we can see it through Jesus,
Therefore, Jesus Christ is Love.
I do not have good memory either but I could still remember some of the moments of my past as far as my childhood years. Though I have the memory of two other girls whom I remember as affectionate, I was too young to really know affection that come to exist between opposite orientation of adults. But I began to really know it when I began to have a story with this girl my post is about.
I do not use the word love because it is not love that combines or attract two souls of opposite orientation, in other words it is not love that create romantic relationship but romantic affection. For, love is not romance or romantic affection. Otherwise I would have called her my first love. But only when love exist, any relationship will go on and on forever, and if it does not exist romantic affection die out soon and the romantic relationship tends to break up as romantic affection tends to have expiry date.
As we human beings have inborn desires, of which sex desire is the strongest and main driving force, and when that is mixed with satisfaction of one or the other or both, eg satisfaction of the eye to beauty of opposite orientation, it produces romantic affection. And we mistakenly consider romantic affection as love. But if we had no inborn desires, there will be no such thing as romantic affection as well as marriage. Thus it is clear that love is not romantic affection.
Since we all are born with inborn desires we all seek for a partner. Therefore, it is not inappropriate even if the younger or older, lower or higher, or whichever one of the opposite orientation start the initial. I rather admire it as it takes a courageous leap to start the initial.
She, my first romantic affection, the star of my post and me were in the same school, class and section in the year 1995 or .96, of which I am not sure. She usually was at the first position in half yearly and final exams but I did not use to get good grade.
She was fair and beautiful but I did not realize that until I got a letter from her. I don't remember what exactly were written in it but its obviously words of romantic affection which we mistakenly know as love in the past. And I don't remember exactly what words were I wrote in reply to her but it was truly the same kind as her letter. Thus we continue to follow the same practice out of romantic affection.
One of her letter was sealed with burned lemon or some similar fruit skin to released and wrapped the letter with its aroma, and I was wondering how she did it. I smiled as I write this because those were the times I got the sweetest words from my princess though I don't remember the words anymore and I still can't do the lemon thing.
I also sent her sweet words which was filled with fragrance powder inside, and I hope it made her feel loved and happy.
Later, when my kinsfolk and parents know about the latter with fragrance powder, they started to tease me with one of a well known song of a time which would be translated as 'her lover send her powder.' I used to be so annoyed and shy at that as it was my first experience of romantic affection, but I could do nothing as they would not stop teasing me. When I think back about the time it give me an amusing feeling as it was not a harmful tease. After all, she was my girlfriend and I was her boyfriend, and what harm could it bring even if others teased us for that just for fun unless they were attempting to separate us. Maybe we were too young but I don't remember her age anymore if she had ever told me.
She had a friend of the same class who liked me and expressed her feelings to me too but on those times my affection toward my first girlfriend was so particular. Her friend was fair and beautiful too. According to my knowledge both of them did not break their friendship despite the fact, instead maybe they were okay with it. Though I did not give much attention to her, the story of the three of us went wide.
My parents know about it too when my elder sister told them what my girlfriend's friend (her name) told it to her. Probably she had told my sister that she wanted me and was ready to be as one of my wives. That have pierced my ears but I liked my girl friend too much that I could not like her too.
My girlfriend and me keep on sending sweet romantic letters to one another as the news keep on spreading wide without any problem that came toward us. But one day, one of our letter reached the hands of our teacher who teach one of the local language and read it out before all the classmates. Maybe she did that because we were too young but it was annoying. It seemed that the whole school know about that.
Even the Principal of the school partly scolded and partly instructed my girlfriend in the assembly before the whole students of the school, more than thousands students because she got poor result in the exam. Maybe he did that out of love but I don't think it should be the way. How shameful would it be for my girlfriend who I liked so much. Though we like one another so much, we had never meet each other outside the school, I don't have the idea at that time either. And I was in the hostel of the school in .95. But it seemed that our relationship lasted till the end of the year.
The following years we were kept in different sections, and since I was still too young and did not know how to keep on our relationship, we hardly contact to one another anymore. Maybe she was also growing weak or had another mind that she too did not send me letters or maybe she was just like me too. I don't remember where her friend was at that time, it also seemed that I was not concerned much about her. But I'd not disagree if life meet us again.
When it was about the middle of the year 1997, a civil war between two brothers clans broke out and all the house of institutes had to be closed. My parents small business fell down and we had to moved out of the town, then back to our own home town as my parents business ended.
After that I had never meet my first girlfriend again though I really wanted to. I still did not grow up from being a smartless ass too, it seemed that it was not a talent given to me.
A year or two later, when my mom take me back to the town where I meet my first romantic affection, I meet a young old friend who was studying in my old school and told me that my girlfriend was still studying there. She was much junior to us but I wonder how she know the romantic relationship my first girlfriend and me had.
This friend of mine was very kind to me, maybe she had romantic affection for me too according to the rumors I heard later but she never told me. She even delivered my letter to my girlfriend who I could not forget. But I felt bad for my friend if she had a romantic affection toward me as it could be hard for her to deliver my romantic letter to someone else.
In the letter I told my romantic affection to meet me near a big banyan in the adjoining village but I never meet her because I did not wait for her as I believe she would not come. But I apologize to her for disbelieving her through this blog.
I still looked for her in 2003 when life take me back again to that town and even after that. Secretly I searched for her but did not find her because I had never taken information about her family, maybe I've forgotten most of it, and I was not that committed anyway. However, I found one thing in the newspaper, and that was a name exactly as her name with father's name, and it was a positive result for joining regional medical institute. I asked my neighbor who had a house near a location where I thought my first girlfriend resides but she told me she had never heard of her and knew her father.
Then, after I joined facebook I looked for her in it but did not find her. Maybe she has gotten married or she had been working somewhere without marriage, that's the worst I could think for her as I don't want to think any other worst things for her.
Her appearance in my memory is growing hazy but my desire to see her for at least one more time could not die. Sometimes, out of desire I still try to see her with my eyes, through my mind but it is like a faint dream and obscure painting. Though I wanted to meet her again in real life, some part of me seems to hold me back as she could have been a successful woman but I remained the same old boy, even lower than that for I could not continue schooling, education according to the world. I even weep at that part and it takes me couples of minutes to finish it.
But God my Father, your Father, our Father teaches me other lessons through life and His Spirit which I do not boast of but Him, my Father. And that is not boasting but glorifying. He had taught me what is love, true love, and why we fall for someone. Some of it is written here.
If I had loved her I would have bee faithful for her till date, for love is faithful, and I would have found her, for love never gives up. After all, love have strong faith, and nothing can move it. I was just having a romantic affection toward her that made me miss her, and if my Father had not taught me I would have been fooled and still think romantic affection as love.
Though sometimes love had accompany my romantic affection toward her I could not say I truly love her because love never die, but my love dies and I did not love her to the end with faithfulness. Anyway, such kind of short termed and incomplete love is never called love.
Such is love and such is romantic affection, they were, they are and they will continue to be so.
Thoughts for the Day:
#Love is a good attitudes and actions toward others.
Love never divorce,
Love never give up.
*# Since love is neither romantic affection nor marriage,
There will be no more marriage in the new World,
Every human being who is worthy to enter the new World, The Kingdom of The Holy God will be like His Holy Angels.
That is the basic reason.
#*# Love is eternal, Love is boundless,
Therefore it is a necessary education to receive eternal degree.
No other education can bestow eternity except love.
*#*# Since the education which is most popular does not change the world,
Since it does not establish peace nor erase hatred,
It is certain that nothing but love is the most important education for all man kind.
#*#*# Love does not follow any religion,
For Love itself is religion.
God the Father is Love, and we can see it through Jesus,
Therefore, Jesus Christ is Love.
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